Jewish weddings embody not only the public declaration of love but also the rich tapestry of customs, traditions, and rituals woven into the fabric of Judaism’s deep history. With thousands of specific rituals governing every aspect of life, Jewish weddings are no exception. While variations may arise between branches (such as Modern Orthodox and Reform) and depend on religious observances, these ceremonies proudly showcase a unique set of practices that honor faith, family, and heritage.
As we delve into the most distinctive Jewish wedding customs, you can expect to witness a kaleidoscope of rituals and traditions that have been passed down through generations. For those attending a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, understanding these common practices will enrich their experience.
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Fasting
In the Jewish faith, fasting serves as a ritual to seek forgiveness for past transgressions and wrongdoings, effectively wiping one’s slate clean. This ancient practice is deeply rooted in tradition, with Yom Kippur being a significant day of atonement where Jews fast from dawn till dusk.
The sacred act of fasting is not limited to this solemn occasion alone; some Jewish couples choose to embark on the same spiritual journey on their wedding day, seeking to enter into matrimony with a clean conscience and moral compass intact. While Ashkenazi Jewish traditions often emphasize the importance of fasting on this joyous occasion, Sephardic customs take a different approach, viewing the wedding as a celebration rather than solely a rite of passage.
In this way, the observance of fasting is deeply nuanced, reflecting the complexities and diversity of Jewish customs.
Bedeken
Bedeken, an Ashkenazi ritual rooted in Genesis, recounts Jacob’s mistaken marriage to Leah, mistaking her for Rebecca. This ceremony has evolved into a unique practice where couples see each other for the first time before their wedding. In Hasidic tradition, men and women are typically segregated, making this momentous encounter all the more significant. For less conservative movements, Bedeken is more of a performance, paying homage to traditional customs.
In this intimate setting, the bride waits surrounded by her female family members while the groom, escorted by his male relatives and the congregation, enters the room. With a sense of reverence, he then covers the bride’s face with a veil, shielding her from potential negative energies, as an act of protection.
Ketubah
In Jewish tradition, the Ketubah serves as a sacred marriage contract between the couple and is formally signed by all parties involved – the couple and two witnesses, with the rabbi acting as an official witness. In some more traditional circles, only the groom, rabbi, and male witnesses sign the document. This ancient custom provides a sense of security and responsibility for both partners, particularly the bride, who is ensured that her rights will be respected throughout their union.
The Ketubah explicitly outlines the husband’s obligations to his wife, effectively placing the contract in her hands as a means of holding him accountable for fulfilling his duties towards her.
The Procession
Jewish weddings are known for their unique and meaningful customs. One of these customs is the traditional walk down the aisle, which is often characterized by a distinct order that sets it apart from other wedding traditions.
In Jewish tradition, this order is as follows: the groomsmen lead the way, followed by the groom who is accompanied by both his parents. The bridesmaids then take their place, after which the bride walks down the aisle accompanied by her own parents.
This order is deeply rooted in Jewish customs and serves to emphasize the importance of family and tradition in this special day.
The Chuppah
The Chuppah is an integral part of Jewish wedding ceremonies, symbolizing the intimacy and commitment of marriage. In Ashkenazi traditions, it’s a cloth canopy supported by four posts held by four close friends or family members. This sacred space serves as the backdrop for the couple’s union, as they exchange vows beneath its gentle curves.
Beyond its aesthetic appeal, the Chuppah also represents the love and support of the community, with friends and family physically holding it up to signify their solidarity with the newlyweds. Historically, Sephardic traditions have taken a slightly different approach, with the couple standing together under the groom’s prayer shawl, or tallit, as they pray for their future together.
Today, couples are taking creative liberties with Chuppah design and style, infusing it with personal touches that reflect their unique love story.
Circling
The Hakafot tradition, a staple of Ashkenazi weddings, takes center stage during the procession. As the bride makes her way around the groom, either three or seven times, she symbolically encircles him under the Chuppah’s sacred canopy. This ritual is steeped in symbolism and significance, with some interpreting it as a protective measure against the evil eye, similar to the Bedeken practice.
But that’s not all – sometimes the bride and groom take turns circling each other, with the bride making three revolutions around her partner, followed by the groom doing the same, before they finally come together for a simultaneous spin once more.
Kiddushin
In Jewish wedding ceremonies, the Kiddushin marks the beginning of the union between the bride and groom. This pivotal moment takes place once they arrive at their designated location under the Chuppah. The Kiddushin is comprised of three distinct elements: a welcome blessing, the exchange of rings, and the recitation of the Ketubah. The ceremony commences with the rabbi’s warm greeting and a blessing over the wine, accompanied by an offer to the newlyweds.
This symbolic gesture signifies the couple’s commitment to one another. The bride and groom then take turns reciting specific blessings in ancient Hebrew as they place rings on their index fingers – believed to be a conduit to the heart. In traditional Ashkenazi ceremonies, it is customary for only the groom to present the ring to the bride. The final element of the Kiddushin involves the reading of the Ketubah, a sacred text that outlines the couple’s vows and responsibilities.
This poignant moment is recited in both English and Hebrew, serving as a reminder of their shared commitment and the sanctity of marriage.
Sheva B’rachot (Seven Blessings)
The Sheva B’rachot, comprising seven blessings, is a significant component of Jewish wedding ceremonies. These prayers are designed to promote the wellbeing and happiness of the newlywed couple, as well as express gratitude for continued peace in Jerusalem and the exaltation of a single, all-powerful G-d. In some cases, the rabbi may choose to recite each blessing personally, while in others, friends and family may be invited to participate by reciting their own blessings.
This inclusive approach allows the couple’s loved ones to feel honored and included in the celebration. Furthermore, the custom of wrapping the couple in a prayer shawl during the recitation of the Sheva B’rachot serves as a powerful symbol of unity and togetherness, emphasizing the sacred bond between the newlyweds.
Breaking of the Glass
One of the most recognizable Jewish wedding customs is the breaking of the glass. This ritual takes place immediately before the newlyweds share their first kiss as husband and wife. The groom carefully lifts his right foot, clad in a cloth-bound glass, and brings it down with purpose, shattering the vessel into pieces. As the sound of breaking glass echoes through the room, the wedding guests erupt into celebratory shouts of ‘Mazal Tov’ (Hebrew for ‘Good fortune’).
This poignant moment is steeped in historical and social significance, with some interpreting the act as a poignant reminder of the destruction of Jerusalem’s Temple, while others see it as a powerful symbol of the fragility and beauty of romantic relationships.
Yichud
In many Ashkenazi Jewish communities, the Yichud is an integral part of the wedding celebration. Originally intended to allow the newlyweds to consummate their marriage after the ceremony, this ritual has evolved over time. Today, the couple is given 15 minutes of private time in a secluded room to enjoy each other’s company amidst the vibrant atmosphere of the communal celebrations.
During this brief period, couples can indulge in a range of activities, from sharing intimate moments like feeding each other or having quiet conversations, to embracing and simply savoring the beauty of being together. Interestingly, some Sephardic Jewish traditions view this custom with skepticism, perceiving it as a breach of modesty between the couple.
S’eudah Mitzvah
The S’eudah Mitzvah, also known as Seudat Mitzvah, is an integral part of the traditional Jewish wedding celebration. This festive feast typically centers around savory dishes such as chicken or fish, carefully prepared to delight the senses.
But what’s fascinating is that it’s not just about the main course – the S’eudah Mitzvah also begins with a sweet prelude in the form of sutlach, a creamy rice pudding infused with the richness of coconut milk, toasted almonds, and warm honey, setting the tone for a joyous and memorable occasion.
The Hora
In the midst of a joyful celebration, the Hora dance is a time-honored tradition that brings everyone together. This lively reception staple typically involves all wedding guests, who form a circle around the newlyweds as they sway to the familiar melody of ‘Hava Nagila.’ The excitement reaches its peak when the happy couple is lifted onto chairs by their loved ones and playfully bounced up and down, symbolizing the start of their new life together.
